Book Review: Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford

Ashley C. Ford’s debut memoir, “Somebody’s Daughter,” illuminates what it was like to grow up in Indiana as a Black girl with a father in prison and a struggling mother. Ford has spent years writing about her life in  snapshot essays, penning magazine cover stories about beloved public figures like Missy Elliot and Serena Williams, hosting several podcasts and more. But in “Somebody’s Daughter,” Ford takes readers on a journey through a life that can be common among young Black people, but in no way normal.

“Somebody’s Daughter” tells of Ford’s efforts to navigate a childhood with her father in prison, assault, grief and the burden of a family’s secrets. NBC News spoke with Ford, 34, about her memoir and the freedom that comes from telling hard truths. (NBC News, June 3,2021, Char Adams)

One of the most prominent voices of her generation debuts with an extraordinarily powerful memoir: the story of a childhood defined by the looming absence of her incarcerated father.

Through poverty, adolescence, and a fraught relationship with her mother, Ashley C. Ford wishes she could turn to her father for hope and encouragement. There are just a few problems: he’s in prison, and she doesn’t know what he did to end up there. She doesn’t know how to deal with the incessant worries that keep her up at night, or how to handle the changes in her body that draw unwanted attention from men. In her search for unconditional love, Ashley begins dating a boy her mother hates. When the relationship turns sour, he assaults her. Still reeling from the rape, which she keeps secret from her family, Ashley desperately searches for meaning in the chaos. Then, her grandmother reveals the truth about her father’s incarceration . . . and Ashley’s entire world is turned upside down.

Somebody’s Daughter steps into the world of growing up a poor Black girl in Indiana with a family fragmented by incarceration, exploring how isolating and complex such a childhood can be. As Ashley battles her body and her environment, she embarks on a powerful journey to find the threads between who she is and what she was born into, and the complicated familial love that often binds them.

Ashley C. Ford is a native of Fort Wayne, Indiana, where she was raised by her mother and grandmother. Ford graduated in 2011 with a degree in English from Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana.

She is an American writer, podcaster and educator who deals with topics including race, sexuality and body image. She is the author of the New York Times best-selling memoir, Somebody's Daughter. She has been the host of five podcasts and has written or guest-edited for multiple well-known publications, including The Guardian, Elle, BuzzFeed, and New York. In 2017, Forbes named her one of their "30 Under 30 in Media".

Ford is married to the writer Kelly Stacy. They have a chocolate Labrador named Astro Renegade Ford-Stacy. Ford identifies as queer (Queer is an umbrella term for or people who are not heterosexual or are not cisgender. Originally meaning "strange" or "peculiar") and credits her time at Ball State as one of the places she was able to explore her sexuality.

Her memoir is about finding love, freedom, and finding herself. At times I thought it fell flat and contrite. Although it chronicles Ford’s complicated upbringing in Indiana, living in poverty with an emotionally unstable mother and incarcerated father, she seems to withhold some deeply revealing truths. Your looking into her journey from childhood into adolescence, and your witness to her romantic relationships that goes awry. Ford’s ex assaults her. She suffers in silence, opting to keep the truth from her family. But when Ford’s grandmother reveals the truth about her father, Ford has questions, however these questions from Ford or the reader are never answered. What was the relationship like between her parents before his incarceration? What are the details behind her father's incarceration? What was the perspective from her brother, RC? When did she discover her identity as queer? 

Ford’s journey of self discovery is candid, inquisitive, and vulnerable, I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author. This gave me a more dramatic effect and I highly recommend it. Her honesty is commendable, Ford certainly writes well, and her experiences are a testimony to her strength of character and will. but my expectations were that this would be more about her father. I felt the author tells a series of memories without any punch. Perhaps my head wasn’t in the right place after reading Tarana Burke’s memoir, “Unbound.”

This was a selection for our May, 2022 book discussion group (AAABDG) via zoom.  The discussion was very interesting, enriching, personal and lively!

Kelly Glen Stacy is a Brooklyn based poet and writer of fiction. Just before graduating from Ball State University, he interned with the Bowery Poetry Club in 2012, and went on to co-found the New York Based reading series Bang! 

Kelly Glen Stacy is a Brooklyn based poet and writer of fiction. Just before graduating from Ball State University, he interned with the Bowery Poetry Club in 2012, and went on to co-found the New York Based reading series Bang! Said The Gun. Stacy has been published in Dream Noir and has written a featured interview for Medium.Com. A former bookseller and construction worker, he and his wife, Ashley C. Ford, live and work together in Brooklyn, NY. Stacy is also writing his first book of poetry.