Michelle Obama's "The Light We Carry" Book Review

Publication Date: November 2022

I related to her knitting during the pandemic for peace. I found myself seeking solace during a difficult times within my own life, such as learning and loving cross stitching. During the 9/11 events I was coloring with crayons, then moved up to adult coloring books with pencils when my husband was confined to his hospital room after a stem cell transplant in 2016 in which I stayed with him and slept in a chair by his side. My Grandmother Alberta and Great Auntie Peggy were and are quilters. Currently my place to go for my inner peace is journal making. My personal joy and happiness that consumes my idle mind (that’s my little thing), my claim to a small victory.

Michelle Obama wrote about her fears in childhood and as an adult in Chapter 2. She says fear is the unknown and unfamiliar, however the unknown is where possibility glitters. If you don’t take the risk you are taking away your opportunities to transform. I watched on MSNBC an interview with Velshi on a Sunday morning with Terrence James Roberts one of the Little Rock Nine, a group of African-American students who, in 1957, were the first black students ever to attend classes at Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas and said that his fear propelled him to move forward.  he volunteered to attend the all-white school, helping to desegregate one of the nation's largest schools.  While watching one of my favorite shows, Project Runway,  a designer described fear as a positive thing, another step towards a new level of growth.

                      “No man has fear until fear comes to him” - Kung Fu

Chapter 3 started out muddled and rambling to where I felt the author had nothing to really say, but it led to a very poignant point. Put your gladness out front and up first, starting kind. Gladness is nourishing. It is a gift, and real growth begins with how gladly you’re able to see yourself.

In Chapter 4, Michelle Obama hits home with her truth on internalizing a stereotype that me as a Black woman as being entitled to what I own and what I have and my pride should be scrutinized, requiring extra proof in a world that won’t accept us. For example; “How can you afford a BMW?” or “How are you owning a Airbnb?”. Obama writes that “It’s natural for kids to want others to recognize their light. They crave it. They grow with it. And if they’re made to feel invisible, they will often find other, less productive ways to be seen.” I honor this statement from my own observations. Myself, I believed in my light and was self motivated to make it shine bright more so as an adult than a child.

Chapter 5 talks about friends and according to a 2021 survey, one-third of American adults reported that they have fewer than three close friends while twelve percent said they have none at all. She writes that making a friend involves taking a risk, which of course means swallowing a little fear, and friendships are an emotional gamble. Disconnection from others makes us more susceptible to conspiratorial and superstitious thinking can leave us mistrustful of those who are not like us. Friends boost mental health. Personally my friendships are very guarded and few. My friend Angela or as I call Angie, has been my friend since elementary school. She has always kept up with me now for 50 years. Longer than my marriage.

In Chapter 6, Michelle Obama says - “when you know your own light, you are then better prepared to share with another person. But you have to practice your way through all of it.” I have been married for 41 years and I married my first love and best friend. We have differences but we are both comfortable, committed partners to our marriage. The toilet paper dispute of over or under that newly married couples have to contend with is truly a necessary negotiation. The different dynamics within each side of a family is prevalent in many households. Some who hug a lot and say “I Love You” and those who are less eloquent with their words or feelings. 

Chapter 7 talks about parenting . Marian Robinson. Michelle Obama’s mother became very popular in the White House. As a parent, you are always fighting your own desperation not to fail at the job you’ve been given. The world will forever seem infinitely more sinister and dangerous when you have a child, even a grown one. Caring for your kids and watching them grow is one of the most rewarding endeavors on earth. I was listening to a song by Gregory Porter, and the lyrics were so relatable to this chapter…

If he folds his legs a certain way he can fly

Told his cousins to watch him as he tried

Broomsticks are his magic cars

Climb aboard and you'll ride the stars

Can't go too far cos silly grown-up life is straight ahead

Getting older

Growing taller

Getting smarter

He'll find his way

My father was my teacher, my guide and my role model. He dropped wisdom in my lap and supported my ideas and endeavors. He didn’t smother me, but he watched me grow into an adult from afar, teaching me self reliance, how to change a car tire, or how to cook a meal. He was my everything! A parent should love you regardless of whether you succeed or fail. I raised my eldest grandson on the principle, “Do you need me to go in there for you?” This truly works in developing their own problem solving skills.

Chapter 8 talks about sharing our personal experiences and our stories. It can be relieving to let out your stories, and whether or not it’s serving you to hold it inside. The culture says we’re safer when we keep our vulnerabilities locked or hidden away. Telling your story can help others who think that they are by themselves on a situation.  Michelle Obama details her feelings about the January 6th insurrection on the capitol in an effort to stop the certification of President Joe Biden, and ultimately the day of the inauguration and its atmosphere. How the poem read by Amanda Gorman who had a story of her own. We should harness rather than hide what makes us unique and or different. I recall the hate from coworkers at a major airline who accused me of getting my job through affirmative action, as the corporation had to satisfy a consent decree to hire more minorities to whom I fell into that category. I kept my head down and did my work which resulted into 25 years and full retirement benefits as I climbed to the highest clerical position and salary at the time. Obama emphasizes that empathy fills the gaps between us.

Chapter 9, is about the armor we wear, and adaptability and preparedness are paradoxically linked. She recounted her meeting with the Queen of England and how the press ensued with negative reactions to her touching the Queen. I have also found myself saying and doing things that won’t find me being stereotyped, like watching my diction, how I dress or wear my hair. This grew out of the necessity and experience of being a minority amongst others or seeking friends who run in the same circles as I, not with the intention of being uppity or appear better, to becoming more versatile in different settings, and earn my own way into acceptance. Your armor can prohibit your fluidity, with anxiety or defensiveness prohibiting preparedness and adaptability.

Chapter 10, What does it really mean to go high? “When they go low, we go high” She was sharing a simple motto that her family tried to live by, it was a way to describe a choice Barack and Michelle were trying to make to always try harder and think more. It’s a reminder to pause and be thoughtful, a call to respond with both your heart and your head. Operating with integrity matters. I agree that it’s about doing what it takes to make your work count and your voice heard. Personal experience has enlightened me to this fact. When dealing with a fellow business owner who did not like the fact that my husband and I were bring positive attention to ourselves in bringing development and jobs to our community, she was degrading our efforts by social media and emails to corporate executives to discredit our non-profit organization. We chose to ignore, block and file a cease and desist junction against her, with a defamation suit to follow. As we continue to push our positive efforts through, she has become more insignificant.

I found her revelations to put her in a normal, human form rather than the idol on a pedestal that I had personally placed her on. This was a self help book, a genre  that I don’t read. Telling her personal stories were a bonus. I enjoyed this book as much as "Becoming" published in November 2018. I read many reviews that compared this book to Becoming and lowered the star rating. You cannot compare this book to her previous, because many people may not have read Becoming.This book would make a wonderful gift for a person trying to sort out their reasons for being, relationships, fears, family, personal development, words of wisdom, motivatiion, and inspiration.